Nearing 1/3 desired loss...

As I near 40 lbs down (39 down as of this morning) I can't help but think about what I'll start doing when I hit my body fat reduction goal, and how I'll transition from the mentality of "I'm fat" to "Hey, I'm in pretty good shape." Dropping 120 lbs of fat is a big deal. Being 312 lbs made me feel like I would never do anything I wanted to do because I was to busy being exhausted dragging myself around.

1/3 of the way through my fat loss, I'm already feeling much less like I'm dragging myself around, but I still have that feeling every once in a while that I'm just not good enough to do the things I want to do. Most of my brain very much knows that I'm able to do just about anything I put my mind to at this point, but there is still that part that has been telling me for years "Just sit at home, don't do anything useful, because anything you do is just going to fail anyway." And well, yes, many of the things I attempt will ultimately fail. Everyone has to deal with this. Lack of interest, lack of preparation, and lack of knowledge will almost always guarantee a failure in something that you feel needs to be done to move further in a certain field. But I have to keep reminding myself that failure isn't the end of moving forward. There are other ways to go around the failure, and even pave it over, by changing tactics, building a better interest, and preparing better for the next attempt.

For college, it's going to be taking time to find a link in Calculus that helps me more easily learn the concepts, while finding sources of funding to make it through the next 4 years. In my fat loss, it's taking time to learn how to properly use vegetables in my cooking to optimize my energy levels and learn when and how much I can 'cheat' and not sabotage my overall goal of not just being healthy, but fit. In my personal projects, it's how to maximize the enjoyment of creating while limiting the cost and time spent turning those projects into something marketable, thus further funding more creations and giving myself more time to work on new concepts.

Working on all of those things will make me a better of person overall. Despite all this talk of the 99% lately, I can not ask government to give me any more than I already unjustly receive. I will instead ask it to get out of the way and stop reducing what my cut of the pie is worth, while finding ways to grab a larger share without threat of force, personal or governmental. I must find a way to not only support myself in daily matters, but to reduce my need for government assistance in traditional education. And unfortunately, my desired field of work (Electrical Engineering) requires a traditional education to become certified. I still ultimately save money by becoming a certified Engineer, because learning these things by myself and then having to employ someone to certify that my designs meet safety standards and guidelines is a lot more expensive in the long run. Hopefully that doesn't change before I graduate.